Theme 4 of 5, Couple Relationships and Conflict | Art-Based evenings with Prof. Hildrun Rolff

Theme 4: Couple Relationships and Conflict

“The same argument, again and again.”

Two evenings to see the pattern behind the fight you keep having, and to steady the child caught in the middle: the one in your care, and the one you once were.

When
Wednesdays 24 and 31 March 2027, 6.00pm to 8.30pm Malaysia time
Where
Live on Zoom, from your own table
Cost
RM298 for both evenings, early bird until 17 March 2027 (then RM380)
You need
Paper, colours, a lump of clay. No art experience.
Reserve your place
A man and a woman drawn in blue and orange crayon, standing face to face.

You’re arguing about the washing-up and mean something else entirely.

One sentence, and a programme you’ve known for years starts running.

Afterwards you wonder why you reacted that way again.

You learned it before you had words for it.

How affection is shown and how a conflict ends, you watched and absorbed in your own family. Some of it was once a clever way to get through. Under stress it still switches on, reliably. Talking about it tends to restart the argument. A picture shows what stays hidden in conversation, and you can change something once you can see it.

It often starts early.

Children sense the tension at dinner and the silence afterwards. Some become especially good; others get loud or blame themselves. In their pictures, Mum and Dad stand at opposite edges of the page, and the house has a crack.

You may once have been the child listening through the wall. What you learned there about love and conflict is what you bring to your own arguments now.

What’s different for you afterwards

You can see your pattern.

What runs automatically in an argument lies in front of you. With a little distance it loses its force.

You understand what it protected.

You learn what your reaction once kept you safe from. That makes you gentler, with yourself and with your partner.

You’ve rehearsed something new.

Your body experiences a different way of being with someone. That experience stays with you when the next argument comes.

Two evenings, a week apart. The first meets you as you are now. The second goes back to where it began.

Most of these patterns were planted early. So the second evening is about children: the ones in your life, and the one you once were. You learn how to help a child with this, and along the way you meet the child who first learned it.

A crayon drawing of a couple, one in blue and one in red-orange, pressed close and turning against each other.

Wednesday 24 March, 6.00pm to 8.30pm

“The same argument, again and again”

For you, alone or as a couple

You can come on your own or together. You work on your own pattern either way.

What this evening sets in motion

  • Patterns become visible. What runs automatically in an argument suddenly lies in front of you. With a little distance, it loses its force.
  • The logic behind it. You understand what your pattern once protected you from. That understanding makes you gentler, with yourself and with your partner.
  • The body rehearses something new. Your nervous system experiences a different way of being in relationship. That experience stays with you, even when the next argument comes.

You leave with

  • A clear view of your own pattern and where it comes from
  • An inner image of how things could be different
  • More room to move when the old programme kicks in
  • If you work with couples: ideas to use in your practice
A crayon drawing of a man in blue and a woman in red-orange facing each other, with a small child in orange standing between them.

Wednesday 31 March, 6.00pm to 8.30pm

“Caught in the middle”

For the children in your life, and the child you were

Children hear more than adults think. Often they say it in a picture long before they say it out loud.

What art-based approaches set in motion in children

  • The child feels seen. When adults look carefully at their pictures, children feel understood, even with few words.
  • A safe place of their own. Through making, children find an inner steadiness that holds, however loudly the grown-ups argue.
  • Loyalty gets lighter. Children usually love both parents. In a picture, both can keep their place.

You leave with

  • A careful way of looking at children’s pictures about family, without rushing to interpret
  • Exercises that give a child something steady when there’s a storm at home
  • Sentences for conversations with children and with parents
  • Guidance on when further help is needed

The exercises stay a surprise until the evening itself. The surprise is part of how they work.

What an evening is like

Who is it for?

What you learn here is a skill and an understanding, and it doesn’t stay with you alone. Once you’ve felt how it works, you can sit beside someone you love, a child, a partner, a parent, a friend, and keep them company through the same thing. You’re there as a companion, with paper and colour between you. Nobody is asking you to fix them or to be their therapist.

For yourself

You and your partner keep having the same argument.

For someone you love

You worry about what your children pick up when you argue, or someone close to you is having a hard time in their own relationship and you want to listen well.

For the people you work with

You’re a teacher, counsellor, coach or family worker who supports couples or their children.

An honest noteFor couples in acute crisis, or where there is violence in the relationship, this is the wrong setting. Please seek direct professional help. If there are signs that a child is at risk, your organisation’s safeguarding procedures apply.

Who guides you

Prof. Hildrun Rolff, wearing a yellow scarf, resting her hand against her cheek

Prof. Hildrun Rolff

Leads every evening live

Most people teaching art-based methods learned them from someone. Hildrun is the someone. She designed and led Germany’s first Art Therapy – Social Art degree at Alanus University, the programme a generation of practitioners was then trained inside.

Her method is trauma-sensitive by construction, not by disclaimer: the body leads and the naming follows, never the other way round.

  • Founder, Germany’s first Art Therapy – Social Art degree, Alanus University
  • Forty years in art therapy, art-based coaching and university teaching
  • Developer of Biography-Based Art Coaching
  • Has taught practitioners across Europe and Asia

Hear Hildrun introduce the five themes:

Choose where to start

Theme 1 is free. Each later theme can be booked on its own, or all four together for the best price.

MOST POPULAR · EARLY BIRD UNTIL 9 DEC 2026

All four themes. Eight evenings, one registration.

Fear and anxiety, bullying, couples, family: December to April, live on Zoom with Prof. Hildrun Rolff. Replays and four note packs included.

4 themes at normal priceRM1,520
4 themes at early bird, one by oneRM1,192
All four togetherRM988
= RM247 per theme
Save RM204 on early bird · RM532 off normal price
Reserve all four · RM988

After 9 Dec: RM1,288 for all four

OR BOOK ONE THEME AT A TIME

Coming as a group of three or more?

Each person registers on their own and enters the group code at checkout.

ONE THEME

ENJOYGROUPOF3

RM40 off each · RM258 early bird (RM340 after)

ALL FOUR THEMES

ALLFOUROF3

RM250 off each · RM738 early bird (RM1,038 after)

The five themes

1Procrastination and avoidance (free)18 and 25 November 20262Fear and anxiety16 and 23 December 20263Bullying20 and 27 January 2027
4Couple relationships and conflict24 and 31 March 2027
5Family relationships and dynamics14 and 21 April 2027

Before you book

Do I need to be good at art?

No. Nothing you make is judged or interpreted, by Hildrun or by anyone else. Paper, colour and clay are simply another way in when words go round in circles.

What will we actually do?

You draw, shape clay and sometimes move, guided one step at a time at your own table. Prof. Hildrun Rolff also explains the psychology behind each theme: why it happens and what is going on underneath. So you leave with both the understanding and activities you can use for yourself and with others. The exact exercises aren’t announced beforehand: if you can’t prepare, you can’t perform, and that’s when something honest shows up.

I don’t have children. Is the second evening for me?

Yes. The second evening is about children, and that includes the child you were. Most of these patterns began early, so learning how to help a child with them is also a way of understanding where yours started. You try every exercise yourself first. If there are children in your life, as a parent, grandparent, teacher or counsellor, you also leave with things you can use with them.

Is this therapy?

No. These are art-based coaching evenings for everyday life and for your work with others. They don’t replace professional support when someone needs it.

I’m not in Malaysia. What time is it for me?

Each evening runs from 6.00pm to 8.30pm Malaysia time (UTC+8). Your Zoom invitation shows it in your own time zone.

How does the team price work?

When three or more of you register together, each person pays the lower price.

Theme 4: Couple Relationships and Conflict

“The same argument, again and again.”

Two evenings to see the pattern behind the fight you keep having, and to steady the child caught in the middle: the one in your care, and the one you once were.

Reserve your place

Ask a question first: info@artbasedcoaching.com or WhatsApp Lee Ling on +60 11-3338 6754.

One of five evenings with Hildrun

This is one of five online mini workshops by Prof. Hildrun Rolff. Each takes an everyday struggle and works on it with paper, colour and clay, over two Wednesday evenings: Part 1 for adults, Part 2 for children and adolescents. Here are the other four. Join all of them, or choose the one your heart is calling you to.

Theme 1: Procrastination and Avoidance“I’ll start tomorrow.”Putting things off is rarely laziness. It usually protects you from something.Wed 18 and 25 November 2026, freeTheme 2: Fear and Anxiety“When the ground shifts.”Anxiety lives in your breath and your shoulders, so that is where these evenings begin.Wed 16 and 23 December 2026, from RM298Theme 3: Bullying“All against one.”Bullying is a group process. It only has to stop being all against one.Wed 20 and 27 January 2027, from RM298Theme 5: Family Relationships and Dynamics“What families pass on.”Every family hands out roles. You can see yours, and decide what stays.Wed 14 and 21 April 2027, from RM298

RM298 a theme early bird (RM380 normal), or all four paid themes for RM988 until 9 December 2026 (then RM1,288). Theme 1 is free.

See all five themesReserve your place